|
A Lapse in Judgment
Friday, March 29, 2013 @ 1:13 PM | 0 Comment [s]
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, but not what I've been through."
-Jonathan Anthony Burkett
Lies spread like wildfire by people I barely even know. Such a shame to live in this world full of endless judgment of tomorrow. A terrible waste of time, lives wasted and moments gone. What you see is what you get because I'm not the desperate, promiscuous girl that's been living inside your head. Scrutinize me for what I am and not by what you think I've become. You don't get to screw me over especially if you haven't been in my shoes.
Your poor lack of judgment made me question my actions. It shook me up, rattled me down. Gone are the days where I can act freely without the fear of being sorted out. You made me think of myself otherwise because I can't find the confident girl that has been with me for all of my life.
So here I am, still thinking twice whether to give you a chance to let you into my life. You think of me in a way I don't even think of you. I feel sorry for the bad thoughts about me running inside your head, thinking they're true. I hope you can let them go as I'm trying to forget the rumors that you've flown.
TTFN.
Labels: hearsay, judge, life, people, rumors At A First Glance
Saturday, September 10, 2011 @ 11:01 PM | 0 Comment [s]
"hearing something that kills you from the inside
and having to act like you're fine
is one of the bravest things in the world."
why did you left me here so blue?
why did you make me feel like i need you?
you left me here, scarred and bleeding on the floor
as i saw you open the bedroom door.
you were supposed to be "the one," my other half
for you always managed to make me laugh.
oh, how i treasure those memories i have with you
since the day you started giving me clues.
my heart blossomed since the day you began to notice me
as i sleep each night full of glee.
but my world started falling apart
when you finally admitted what's inside your yearning heart.
i could've been the one to help you pick up the pieces that she broke
for i don't want to see you hang yourself on a rope.
i am here, so give me a chance
for i never lost hope from the day you gave me that glance...
Labels: abandonment, alone, challenges, changes, disappointments, hardships, heartaches, journey, life lessons, love, people, unrequited Story of My Life
Tuesday, April 5, 2011 @ 12:33 AM | 0 Comment [s]
 "the girl who seemed unbreakable -- broke. the girl who seemed so strong -- crumbled. the girl who always laughed it off -- cried. and the girl who never stop trying, finally gave up." hurtful words, stabbing knives, broken bones and fractured hopes. no more shall i settle from the mockery you showed. you're supposed to care, to help me carry on but you're doing the opposite and i am finding it hard to move on. acid words, never-ending doubts -- i wish to be free from this place where you imprisoned me to be. i could never understand why you're always pulling me down. with the attitude you showed, i wish not to be around you anymore. i cry at night and never will you know how those insults you gave hurts me to the core. you're far too insensitive to what people might feel. somehow i wish you could see how broken i came to be. regardless of my struggles i tried to stand strong -- try to let people show how invincible i want to become. but really, deep down inside, i am crumbling into pieces with no way of knowing how to escape this madness. never goes a day where i don't feel worthless. i am tired of telling myself that i am someone worth believing. not a minute goes by where i don't contemplate on what you have said and yes, they are just words but i'd rather be physically bruised. no more pain and feelings of helplessness coz i wish for the day to look at the mirror and be happy and contented of what i am seeing. somehow, you always get the worst in me. must so you know that i am not your puppet and this is not a stage. never did i experience freedom never did i experience care. your clutches are too tight that it feels like i'm in jail. too much judgment, too much hate, too much of everything that i could never take. i cover my ears as you abuse me verbally, i grip my chest -- shielding my heart from the pain it will feel. just let me go and understand that i don't want to be a part of your so-called promise land. i want to disappear away from everybody. away from confrontations, lies and pretends. i want to start anew, create a life where i can grow and be the person i once loved and knew. i wipe my tears but they still keep on falling, no longer will i feel useless coz from this moment on, i shall make my skin as thick as a stone. TTFN. Labels: chill., disappointments, hurt, life, people, sadness I Look at the Stars and then I Remember You
Friday, February 19, 2010 @ 10:01 PM | 0 Comment [s]
 "I want the one I can't have and it's driving me mad it's written all over my face." Valentine's Day --- a movie worth watching. no, i'm not going to blog about the movie. what i'm going to blog about is how i felt while and after watching the movie. i was moved by the movie especially the story of Kate Hazeltine. i was forcing myself not to cry even though tears were about to fall down my cheeks. it was so inspiring that it made me realize how some people would go for miles just to see the one they love. next was Sean Jackson's big revelation. i do wish i could be able to do what he did --- shout it to the entire world and not care about what people might think. it was a brave move and i know i won't be able to do what he did. confident as i am, i could never gather my guts to say what i REALLY want to say without the fear of being judged. i wish i could but i couldn't. Dr. Harrison Copeland. the same doctor i knew in Grey's Anatomy. slick and sneaky. i could never understand on why some people could actually do what he did in the movie. it was pretty deceitful not to mention painful. I loathe people like him IRL. i could never forget Kara Monahan. her idea of a party was pretty awesome. bitter, yes. but then again, it was inevitable for people like Kara to feel the way she did in the movie. childish, yes, but very therapeutic. i had the biggest sympathy on Reed Bennett. i guess not all good things come to an end. his story was so tragic that i almost want to bitchslap Morely Clarkson for being so insensitive to Reed's feelings. it actually made me realize to think twice before doing anything coz some people might get hurt during the decision making process and as much as possible, i would never want people to get hurt due to my wrong decisions. Julia Fitzpatrick showed why revenge is sweet. i don't have to watch this movie to be able to realize that fact. she's a strong, determined person and weird as it may seem but i see a part of myself in her. i don't allow people to push me around and she showed how 'self-defense' is important in her story. like most teens out there, Alex and Grace just couldn't wait to experience that very magical moment in a relationship. i couldn't blame them, actually. having to deal with peer pressure and hormones is a very hard thing to do. i guess almost everybody wants to know how it feels but i still recommend to wait for the perfect moment. like destiny, it is not planned. it will happen when the moment is right. i really, really wish i could meet someone like Holden. really. someone like him and Sean Jackson. oh wait. scratch that. i think i just did. having the chance to walk around this planet for 19 years made me realize that you have to accept every person for what they are especially those people that is in your life. Jason had a hard time doing it with Liz and i kinda hated him for shutting her off just like that. just like Morely Clarkson, what he did was unbelievable. with all the love showed in the movie, i couldn't help but feel lonely. it was depressing for me. i know i'm being bitter and all but what i went through over the past few years was hard and i kinda went through it alone. so, yeah. :) TTFN. Labels: learnings, love, memories, movies, pain, past, people, present, realizations, valentine's day |
Le Narcissist A movie buff, TV series addict, my iPOD is an extension to my tiny Psychology graduate hailed from the queen city of the south. Marked by Suzaku. Literally. TUMBLR'ing, TWITTER'ing, Le Deviant, Le Tumblr'ing Quotes
Le Minions
A B B Y G A L E Talk To Me!
Yep, I'm Counting! Le Credits! |
