"If you hold back your feelings because you're afraid of getting hurt,

you end up hurting anyway."

x

There are days that I just want to break free. Run. Get away from the stupidity, drama and insanity of it all. There are times where I just want to burst in flames, break glass or even scream. There are moments where I want to break someone's face, cause injury or even punch the wall. There are some instances where I just.. I want to.. I've got to but I can't and I couldn't.

I'm a volcano waiting to explode. I'm a ticking time bomb. Slowly and painfully I am loosing my patience. I'm so tired of accepting people's shit. So tired of saying "yes" all the time and most of all, I am so tired of getting kicked at, stepped on and being taken for granted of. 

All I want to do is cry and curl in my bed until I fall asleep but my eyes got tired of crying and my tears went dry from falling. I am a hollow shell. I feel empty and belittled. My heart aches from all the pain it witnessed and felt. My brain is tired from telling myself to be strong and to not break down but that's all I want to do but I can't because breaking down is useless. Crying is useless. Feeling sorry for myself is useless.

The only thing I could do now is take a deep breath, close my eyes and stand strong until I can't stand anymore.

TTFN.

"hearing something that kills you from the inside

and having to act like you're fine

is one of the bravest things in the world."

x

why did you left me here so blue?

why did you make me feel like i need you?

you left me here, scarred and bleeding on the floor

as i saw you open the bedroom door.

you were supposed to be "the one," my other half

for you always managed to make me laugh.

oh, how i treasure those memories i have with you

since the day you started giving me clues.

my heart blossomed since the day you began to notice me

as i sleep each night full of glee.

but my world started falling apart 

when you finally admitted what's inside your yearning heart.

i could've been the one to help you pick up the pieces that she broke

for i don't want to see you hang yourself on a rope.

i am here, so give me a chance

for i never lost hope from the day you gave me that glance...

some hater of mine read my blog. this blog. she then posted in the chatbox of the other blog that i'm contributing and said that i'm "heart broken."

well, i will surely look like a total hypocrite fool if i will deny that. of course, i am heart broken. i guess almost everyone has been heart broken. and guess what? i'm proud that i have experienced heartaches. it's tough going through that stage especially at a very young age.

you may hate me because of the things i do but what i can't ponder is that why people make it such a big deal that someone is "heartbroken." those experiences made me strong, gave me a lot of lessons and made me realize a lot of things that i shouldn't have and should have done.

heartaches. they're just part of the cycle. we are only human and we are capable of feeling pain.

i'm lucky enough to experience love, to love and be loved in return. i'm lucky to be heart broken and i'm lucky to go through that phase without being too bitter about it.

if you haven't experience heartache, your time will come soon and you can't even describe how bad it feels. take it from someone who knows. :)

happy new year everyone.

TTFN.

Yo,

i am tired of reaching out to you. i've been doing my very best to restore our relationship. your last comment made it all clear. it made me snap from confusion and i thank you for that.

you never meant the nice things you said to me in the first place. good thing i was holding myself back.

all of my questions have been answered. 

now i know you weren't sincere after all. 

*sigh in huge disappointment*

:))