-Jose Bergamin

he caressed my legs up to my neck. his soft fingers running to my body, slowly touching me, making me feel so exhilarated. i was blown away on how good he was on knowing the most sensitive parts of my body. i was on fire and my body was about to burn.

i ran my fingers down his spine and out of excitement, i scratched his back with my long finger nails leaving bruises for him to tend to. he was sweating and so was i. it was the moment we've been waiting. our perfect night. the night we imagined for so long.

he held me close, so tight that it was hard to breathe. his hands were on my head slowly touching my hair. savoring every moment of it, i closed my eyes, hoping this night wasn't going to end. he kissed my cheeks down to my shoulders. the feeling was so great that he literally left be breatheless. 

i was grasping for air, trying to remember how to breathe right. as i opened my eyes, i saw his beautiful eyes gazing at me as if he was looking at my soul, reading my thoughts and deciphering my expressions. he stood before me, holding the back of my head and thrusting it to his chest, making me listen to the beat of his heart. it was fast. and right then and there, i knew he was nervous all along.

he kept on touching me, making me feel that tingling sensation. i could not ask for more. he has given me enough to actually take in for one day. he was here with me, holding me close and never letting me go. his body so close to mine, his heart beating fast and his eyes were on me, never letting me out of his sight. i smiled at him and he smiled back and no one could ever take that away from me.

for the first time in a very long time, i felt secured. with him right by my side, we could surpass every storm that was coming our way. he was shield and i was his. we were together and with that, nothing could ever tear us apart. i was happy. we were happy.

and then as i opened my eyes, i saw the light from the sun. i searched the room and he wasn't there. then i realized it was too good to be true. my fantasy made it feel like it was my reality and my nightmare became something i could never escape. as i take in the pain of something that could be almost real, i took a deep breath, and finally let it go.



TTFN.

if only i could, i would've deleted you in my life. with no evidence of your existence, it would've been easy for me to move forward, to be happy, to find someone new.

it hurts me to see you happy. conceited as it may seem, but i want you all to myself. i've been trying to get a hold of you, trying to show you how beautiful life is if we're together. but then, you have given me no chance at all to prove that. you abandoned me. and now, a hole in the center of my heart was born the day you decided to neglect my presence.

for the nth time or maybe more, again, i was wrong. i could never fool myself; much more my heart. my mind may think otherwise but it's my heart that longs for your existence. i want to touch you, hold you and caress you gently to sleep. i want to tell you stories and at the same time gaze into your beautiful eyes. i want to see you for who you truly are and i want to see you happy of the things i have done.

i could never ask for another because it is you that the world has offered. forever will you be in me and forever i will long for you to come running back to my arms again. i was a dreamer to hope you would be mine and i was nothing more but a mere girl broken hearted because of love.

TTFN.

-Boyzone

-Eric Clapton

you were mine for quite sometime. 4 years had passed and we found closure. you said i left you. i didn't but i took the blame coz i don't see the point of disagreeing anyway. it was dawn and i was tired. you said you were lonely when i left. so did i. you said you wanted to fill the gap that you are feeling. so did i. at that moment, i felt a connection between us. again, we were talking the way we used to talk 4 years ago.

then i made an out-of-the-blue suggestion. you were astounded. so was i. never did i expect those words to come out of my mouth. i was confused of what was happing. it was so fast. four years of not talking and it only took you 4 hours to make my feelings towards you somewhat 'active' again.

that night was surreal. i thought it was just a dream but it wasn't since your messages are in my inbox. it was more of a bliss, actually.

i thought it was the best time to start where we left off. i thought it was serious -- i thought you were serious. again, i hoped but i should know not to.

you said you wanted to see me. i wanted to see you, too. to actually spend time with you before you go to another continent. but sad to say, when it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. i didn't bother asking you to come see me coz you always find ways to make excuses. if you want to see me, you would.

news really do fly fast. you wanted to get back with your ex. i am your ex but i wasn't the ex you wanted to get back with.

for 2 weeks, you managed to make me feel like i'm floating down to the making me feel like shit. it was painful but i can manage like i always do. i am strong and with what happened between us made me realize even more that i am too good for you. yes, i am because i don't and will never beat you up unlike the person you are with and chose to be with right now.

what's meant to be will always find its way. if we are meant for each other, time will come that we'll be together again. for the mean time, have fun and enjoy every moment you have.

i am disappointed of what you did. i don't like being in the dark and i have every right to know that you got back with your ex. it was rude, really but i can't do anything about that anymore. i now am having this feeling that you were having a revenge. serves me right for 'leaving you', yeah?

we all know that you left me and we all know that you are leaving me.

TTFN

life has indeed given me more than my fair share of pain and lies. no need to keep the truth away from me. i will know it eventually. it's good that i knew it beforehand. it's good that you don't have to lie to me anymore. just when i thought life has given us a second chance to test the emotions we are having for each other. again, i was the one to blame for suddenly disappearing just like that. it was all my fault. yes, i am taking the blame.

i'm not mad that you didn't tell me the big news. what i'm having issues about is how you managed to tell me that we could have something real this time. i was bothered for days coz i was unsure of what i have gotten myself into again this time.

but now, there's no need for me to think about our situation anymore. you yourself has given me enough answers i needed to know. i get it. you're getting back at me for what i did to you 4 years ago. my apology was really sincere. i never intended to hurt you and i never intended to leave you but i did and i am really sorry.

so, i guess this is finally it. our story ends here. no more fooling and lying around. i have my ways. i don't actually have to search for it to know. i don't chase the news. the news comes to me. goodbye... forever.

as much i i don't want it to end like this, i have to. i don't want to be the 'second choice' anymore. i'm through with all that BS. like i said, i want someone NEW to hurt me --- or make me happy. not someone from my past and if it was, i wasn't expecting it to be you. sorry, but that's the truth.

i was actually forcing myself to forget everything that happened between us. but i just can't. it sucks, really.

TTFN