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Down the Rabbit Hole
Tuesday, August 14, 2012 @ 10:18 PM | 0 Comment [s]
"Not all those who wander are lost."
-J.R.R Tolkien
I look upon the horizon, watch as the sun fades from the sky and witness a few stars glitter as the clouds continues to move. A beautiful picture I can never forget. The tides are slowly changing and so are the people I came to know and love. Big changes are happening --- even life altering. I can see their smiles, hear their hearts races or even watch the color of their cheeks change from pale to rosy pink. Definitely a big change. I feel jealous and then I can feel my skin starting to crawl down from my spine all the way up to my neck. Happiness surrounds them and certainty. As for me, still indecisive, still stagnant, still stuck. I've always dreamed of a beautiful bliss -- something Hungry for change but at the same time scared of it. Nothing is permanent but change. Nothing is more beautiful yet scary but change. We've all wanted it, craved for it and sometimes, made it happen coz it never did. I tried to take a step forward but all I ever did was take a step back -- farther and farther from something so beautiful yet could be ugly at the same time. I'm pulling myself down. Down from the beautiful shoreline to the deep, dark abyss that is the unknown. Away from everyone I know and the world I grew up in. Away from the beautiful blue sky, the cool breeze and the warmth of the sun. I wait in the corner for someone to take me to a new dimension. TTFN. Labels: changes, confusion, life God Is Still Busy Writing My Love Story
Wednesday, February 29, 2012 @ 1:57 AM | 0 Comment [s]
"it's the way we touch, it soothes me,
it's the way we'll always be..."
-Oliver James
A surge of emotion comes through me, a feeling i could never understand. There you are standing right in front of me beaming me that smile of yours i'd recognize from a mile or so. There you are statuesque as ever. You came into my life like a gush of wind -- so powerful yet so beautiful at the same time.
I don't want to speak of love nor am i sure that it is love that i feel. but one thing i know for sure, every time you are near, i catch my breath; and every touch, and every kiss on the cheeks and every hug, i want to savor for as long as i can remember. the smile i've been trying to hide, i cannot any longer. i cannot contain these emotions anymore.
You have given me hints but never could i decipher them. you are a blur to me -- a mystery i could never solve for you never talked about your life as i always talk about mine for you always wants to know my past and as well as my future.
It's the simple things you do that makes me smile, whether it's the carrying of my bag or closing the car door; those kind gestures i could never forget. but this is what i am afraid off, those were only kind gestures and nothing more. i am afraid of jumping into conclusions again but luckily for me, this uncertainty i am feeling closed me off from feeling something strong.
it has always been vague between you and i. i am finding it hard to see pass the light but if this continues on, i believe the world will probably know the greatest story ever told.
TTFN Labels: confusion, crossroads, feelings, uncertainty The Abyss
Sunday, July 3, 2011 @ 8:11 PM | 0 Comment [s]
 "if it's worth the risk, take the fall. if it's what you want, it is worth it all." there once was a girl who was so certain of herself. she packed her things and left everyone behind in pursuit of her dreams. she walked a long narrow road with nothing but hope to bring. there she stood on a crossroad who she thought she was familiar of. but as darkness fell and with no light to spare, she was clueless yet again. she head on west hoping she took the right road to travel. still clueless of what's beyond, she clutched her heart and continued to walk on. then she reached a tree who bore golden apples. thinking that this was her easy way out, she climbed the tree and took many apples she could carry. when rain fell hard and the clear blue sky turned dark and unholy, she ran for her life with nothing but apples to carry. she hid on a cave and decided to pass the time until nature is on her side and bring out the brightest sun. as she woke up the next morning, she saw her apples melting. without it attached to its branches, it is as useless as a person with no dreams. she stood up and came out of the cave only to find out she's on a meadow as beautiful as the sunlight hits her face. she continued her journey with desire and passion burning in her chest. as she passed by towns and met people from different places, she realized the world is full of treasures waiting to be discovered. she ran, feeling the gush of the wind on her face, wanting to be as free as a bird flying in the clear blue cloudless sky. she screamed so hard, releasing her inhibitions -- she couldn't be more happy. months went by and still clinging on her dreams, she reached a cliff. looking down, she swear she could see hell and can hear demons chanting her name. she left everyone behind without even considering their emotions, she realized she was being self-centered. rain falling hard from the sky, she turned her back and decided to walk home thinking of pursuing her dream from another time without having to hurt anyone in her journey. TTFN. Labels: confusion, crossroads, dreams, life Follow The Yellow Brick Road
Saturday, June 12, 2010 @ 9:25 PM | 1 Comment [s]
 "happy is what happens when your dreams come true." -Kristen Chenoweth as Galinda, Wicked i'm standing on a crossroad, confused on what path to choose. right now, i have no idea as to where to go. i have no destination and all i have with me are dreams i badly want to pursue. i've been thriving hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but as i keep on heading forward, i just couldn't reach it. right now, i want to have it easy. like what Dorothy had in the book, i want a yellow brick road so i wouldn't have to ask for directions or get lost on my way to my destination. i look at each paths and i couldn't see anything -- it's too foggy and misty and because of that, i am afraid as to what road to take. should i move forward? or go left? maybe right is the right way to go. i want to figure this out right away. i don't want any regrets -- there's no room for error. not now, not ever. i just wish something would fall from the sky and help me figure out where to go. i want a neon arrow sign pointing to the right direction. i want my very own yellow brick road to follow. Labels: books, confusion, dreams, life, wicked it was real. everything of it was real.
Thursday, December 24, 2009 @ 2:00 PM | 0 Comment [s]
 "Love was always the thing that did that- smashed into you, left you raw. the deeper you loved, the deeper it hurt." aren't you tired of hurting me, leaving me behind every memories we have created, throwing me around like a piece of junk? don't you feel guilty of making me feel this way, making me worried about you, when in fact, you don't even care for me at all? isn't it enough? the care, affection, love and attention i have given you for the past few years? do you want more? do you want me to stop? how could i know what to do when you don't even talk to me anymore. didn't you receive the signals i have given you? i love you, did you felt that? i care for you, did you even see that? i long for you, for your touch, your kisses and your hug, did you know that? why me? above all girls that you met, why must i suffer from this tragic love story? do you feel tired at all? i'm exhausted. i'm tired of this shit. please help me let you go. i want you out of my life. i want to be free. to be free from you, from everything. TTFN. Labels: boy, confusion, girl, life, love, questions Messed Up? Probably.
Saturday, July 25, 2009 @ 7:53 PM | 0 Comment [s]
 "stupid Cupid, you're a real mean guy. i like to hit you until you can't fly. i am in and i know that you're the one to blame." -Mandy Moore have you ever liked someone that you're not supposed to like? have you ever felt like the person you are crushing with would be the last person you would have a crush with? i have. thrice in my oh so dramatic life. i have no idea why would i make the same mistakes again. i can assure myself that i'm not in love with this person nor do i have strong emotions towards the said human being. i just find this new interest of mine extremely attractive. maybe i'm weird or maybe not. maybe i'm just confused or maybe it was repressed or suppressed or whatever. the day i realized that i started to be attracted towards this person, i was hesitant to admit it to myself the truth. my past is starting to haunt me again and i really don't want that to happen. not now, not to this person. i'm trying my best to hide everything and to not let people think that i'm this kind of girl. i'm trying everything for them not to think bad things about me. yes, i can be weird sometimes but this just got out of hand. it already got out of hand 4 years ago and i was proud of myself that i had control of the situation. so, in the mean time, i just wish i could wish away my attraction towards this person but i simply can't. these emotions are too hard to control, making me a prisoner of my own self. TTFN, CHAM Labels: confusion, life, problems |
Le Narcissist A movie buff, TV series addict, my iPOD is an extension to my tiny Psychology graduate hailed from the queen city of the south. Marked by Suzaku. Literally. TUMBLR'ing, TWITTER'ing, Le Deviant, Le Tumblr'ing Quotes
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