"In another life, I would make you stay

so I don't have to say you were the one that got away."

-Katy Perry

x

When did it all stopped?

It all stopped when your life changed my mine didn't. 

It all stopped when you went to college and I was stuck in high school.

It all stopped when you made a lot of new friends and I made little.

It all stopped when you made promises and I was left waiting for you to make them happen.

It all stopped when feelings of love were questioned, when companionship were replaced by longing, when the thoughts of "us" no longer lingered, when you moved on and I still waited, when you came back and I turned you down because when you left, I was left with nothing.

Feelings did not change. I still feel the same way I felt eight years ago. I still want to hold your hand, bury my face at the curve of your neck, smell that sweet taste of yours; but all of those were a distant memory. Eight years have passed and all I was left with are letters and a photograph of you. I still read them, trying to bring back beautiful memories but all of it still hurts. Remembering hurts, forgetting hurts, forgetting you hurts and moving on hurts the most.

I have moved on. I took four steps forward but a single message, a flash of your smile, the sound of your voice made me took eight steps back. I'm farther now. Far from forgetting and far from ignoring these feelings of longing.

I'm still here hoping, waiting for you to come back because you once told me you would and I'm still clinging on to that single promise. I poured my heart out to you, took me all the courage to tell you all of my feelings and letting it all hang out there, very visible for you to see. You were my first love. Probably my true love. I'm still here waiting for you to give me another chance and show you a shot of what it feels like to be "us" again. In the mean time, I'll live my life as I watch you live yours. I'll slowly move on but that doesn't mean when you call me, I won't be there to answer it.

TTFN.