Tuesday, April 5, 2011.
"the girl who seemed unbreakable -- broke.
the girl who seemed so strong -- crumbled.
the girl who always laughed it off -- cried.
and the girl who never stop trying, finally gave up."
hurtful words, stabbing knives, broken bones and fractured hopes. no more shall i settle from the mockery you showed. you're supposed to care, to help me carry on but you're doing the opposite and i am finding it hard to move on. acid words, never-ending doubts -- i wish to be free from this place where you imprisoned me to be. i could never understand why you're always pulling me down. with the attitude you showed, i wish not to be around you anymore.
i cry at night and never will you know how those insults you gave hurts me to the core. you're far too insensitive to what people might feel. somehow i wish you could see how broken i came to be. regardless of my struggles i tried to stand strong -- try to let people show how invincible i want to become. but really, deep down inside, i am crumbling into pieces with no way of knowing how to escape this madness.
never goes a day where i don't feel worthless. i am tired of telling myself that i am someone worth believing. not a minute goes by where i don't contemplate on what you have said and yes, they are just words but i'd rather be physically bruised. no more pain and feelings of helplessness coz i wish for the day to look at the mirror and be happy and contented of what i am seeing.
somehow, you always get the worst in me. must so you know that i am not your puppet and this is not a stage. never did i experience freedom never did i experience care. your clutches are too tight that it feels like i'm in jail. too much judgment, too much hate, too much of everything that i could never take.
i cover my ears as you abuse me verbally, i grip my chest -- shielding my heart from the pain it will feel. just let me go and understand that i don't want to be a part of your so-called promise land. i want to disappear away from everybody. away from confrontations, lies and pretends. i want to start anew, create a life where i can grow and be the person i once loved and knew.
i wipe my tears but they still keep on falling, no longer will i feel useless coz from this moment on, i shall make my skin as thick as a stone.
TTFN.
Labels: chill., disappointments, hurt, life, people, sadness
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