i don't think it's healthy for me to still love like him this way. it has been 5 years now and i'm still hurting. all those things that he said to me, all those beautiful memories we shared together and all those moments where everything seemed so perfect are now lost in a place where i can't even determine if it was real or not.

it's sad on how we allowed people and time to drift us apart from each other. every thing's a blur now. a vague reality, an unescapable past, a tormenting present and a surreal future.

i wish he could've just given me the heads up that he was leaving for good.

after all those years of my unsaid feelings for him, i finally decided to tell him i love like him. he didn't know it was me but it took me a lot of courage to finally blurt that out. it was hard yet it felt really good.

he was my friend, my shoulder to lean on, my strength. and now he is my pain, my suffering and my hurtful past that keeps on haunting my present.

TTFN.