i have no idea if i still like him but i sometimes caught myself reading back all the messages he sent to me including all those comments he posted in my friendster account. i kinda felt sorry for myself only because i let him ruin me. come to think of it, he let me wait for him and then what? he got himself a girlfriend. awesome. just awesome.

so what's the point in waiting for him, right? i've given up months ago and why do i still have feelings for him regardless of the things he did to me? i'm just so confused. everything just changed. i'm not a big fan of change. well, bad change that is.

so here i am, thinking of what i really feel towards this guy. it must not be love, i can assure myself that. maybe its just a plain infatuation? i don't know. all i want to know is why i still have a thing towards this guy. i just want to not like him anymore and just move on with my life the same way he has moved on with his.

all i want is to be numb. to not feel anything and to live my life painlessly.