if you have read this entry, then you would totally understand what i'm talking about.

what amazes me the most is how feeling close his girlfriend is to me. i was sitting in the canteen, waiting for my friend to return when someone poked me. i looked behind me and i saw her giggling. she was smiling at me. i awkwardly smiled back. 

then, after watching a movie with my friend, i decided to go home. i took out my ipod and started listening to it when i saw them walking in front of me. so, i walked fast. i was listening to some really loud music and couldn't hear anything but the music that was playing. i'm a hundred percent sure that he saw me. i didn't mind him at all. it's as if i didn't see him. i was just walking really fast. then my knees started to wobble then i lost sight of them and decided to sit down.

i told my friend what happened and she said that he could be my FIRST LOVE.

i mean, W T F? him? no, please. anyone but him.

but i don't get why my knees will always feel weak every time i saw him. then my heart beats fast and i couldn't think straight. 

i am very sure that i don't feel anything for him anymore. i have moved on already and it took me a very long time to do it. 

is he really my first love? i don't know. 

God, please enlighten me.