//Forever Imperfect
Push Forward

Friday, December 21, 2012 @ 8:59 PM | 0 Comment [s]

"Sometimes, when you fall, you fly."
x

I'm afraid of jumping off the cliff. I'm afraid that if I do, I'd bump my head on a stone. I'm scared of falling but I'm craving for it. I'm craving for the rush, the adrenaline, the high and the absolute freedom one feels on mid air. But falling is dangerous, taking that leap from the tip of the cliff is dangerous. Nothing is absolutely and irrevocably safe.

Taking that huge leap and actually embracing the moment bruised me in more ways than one. Walls were built, doors and windows were locked and the air felt stale. Nothing about it was wrong but nothing felt right either. I bumped my head, broke some limbs and bruised my arms and legs. That's way falling is dangerous. That's why I don't jump off the cliff and live the moment of utter bliss.

Somehow, someone is pushing me off the cliff and someone from down below screams my name, waiting for me to take the jump and just let go of everything -- every possible burden and every possible reason of not wanting to jump. I can feel that someone's hand on my back, pushing me and pushing me until I fall. Though I was afraid and hesitant, I did not stop him. I let him push me. I let him let me fall. But here's the twist: I may have jumped but I have not fallen. Not yet.



TTFN.

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Skyscraper

Sunday, June 17, 2012 @ 11:34 PM | 0 Comment [s]

"Do you have to make me feel like
there's nothing left of me?"
-Demi Lovato
x

I feel imprisoned, caged up and suffocated from the things I did not even do. I am paying the price of someone else's sins and now everything is such a whirlwind.

I wanna fly, escape, let loose and just soar from the blue sky right above me but there are chains on my wrists and as much as I try to break free, responsibility hangs right in front of me. I want to get out of this world that I'm living in because it is slowly driving me insane.

I try to do the right thing but somehow it backfires and now I am sitting in the corner of my room contemplating on why karma is such a bitch to me.

I cry at night, trying to get over of the pain but I can't and more tears are flowing down my face. I want to scoop myself up, tell myself to be strong but every time I try to do so, my knees quiver and I am right back to where I started.

I try to fake a smile, try to wear a mask but I know deep down I am dying a little bit on the inside.  Could someone pull me up because it seems that I have fallen farther more than I could have imagined.

...Help me!



TTFN.

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