"I felt that I breathed an atmosphere of sorrow."

-Edgar Allan Poe

x

Everyone's soaring high up the ground, everyone's leaving their past behind. They envisioned a great perhaps and the future they want to be in. They're living a fruitful life -- a life they've been wanting for for so long. Hands are waving at me goodbye, my smile is fading as I watch them rise. I am at an impasse -- a place I don't want to be and a place I've been trying to get out of for a few times now. I feel defeated, loss and confused. What has been happening to me? What is missing? What is it that they're not seeing in me? 

I've been thrown off the cliff of disappointment for a couple of times now. I've managed to get back up despite my failures. I want to run, break free and cut loose. I want to see change. Good change and not just me and my troubled youth. I want to fly, see the world and be someone everyone thought I wouldn't be.

So far, all I see are rocks and dirt -- the same dirt I've been standing on for all my life. I give out a huge sigh for I think I'm going to be stuck here for quite some time. Where is my miracle? Where is my change? Why hasn't someone or something swept me off my feet? Am I not worthy enough to see the skies? Am I not worthy enough to soar up the clouds? Until then, I watch my friends rise. I watch them with hope that I can be with them up in the sky.

TTFN.