have you ever liked someone that you're not supposed to like? have you ever felt like the person you are crushing with would be the last person you would have a crush with?

i have. thrice in my oh so dramatic life.

i have no idea why would i make the same mistakes again. i can assure myself that i'm not in love with this person nor do i have strong emotions towards the said human being. i just find this new interest of mine extremely attractive.

maybe i'm weird or maybe not. maybe i'm just confused or maybe it was repressed or suppressed or whatever.

the day i realized that i started to be attracted towards this person, i was hesitant to admit it to myself the truth. my past is starting to haunt me again and i really don't want that to happen. not now, not to this person.

i'm trying my best to hide everything and to not let people think that i'm this kind of girl. i'm trying everything for them not to think bad things about me.

yes, i can be weird sometimes but this just got out of hand. it already got out of hand 4 years ago and i was proud of myself that i had control of the situation.

so, in the mean time, i just wish i could wish away my attraction towards this person but i simply can't. these emotions are too hard to control, making me a prisoner of my own self.

TTFN,

CHAM