"sometimes you've got to run away to see who will run after you.

sometimes you've got to step up to fight only to see 
who's standing by your side.

sometimes you've got to make a wrong decision 
only to see who's there to help you fix it.

sometimes you've got to let go of the one you love just to see 
if they love you enough to come back."

not always the first but always the last. not always the lead but the understudy. always the spare, always the replacement, always the second choice. i could never get mad at him -- at least not that long. the way he flashes me his smile; it melts my heart. the way he holds me sends little electric shocks down my spine. his touch lingers on my skin. his scent, i could never erase. i could listen to his voice and not get tired of it. i long for his company. i long to listen to his soft laugh that i could never get enough.

with him, i'm nothing but a spare tire. i'm sitting at the back seat just waiting for him to notice me and this usually happens when he has no one to lean on to. i want to be part of his life, to be someone worthy enough for his precious time. i don't want the back seat. not anymore. somehow, i don't want to push myself just so i can be part of his life. i want him to let me be part of it and not cave my way in.

i'm standing here and he doesn't take notice. i see him but he doesn't see me. 

other than that, i want nothing more but his attention. this unrequited love i can handle but not me being small enough not to be seen by his naked eyes. a single hello, a simple text reply or even a small touch and everything will be fine.

TTFN.