-Breaking Benjamin

i sat down the floor, grabbing my knees. the room i'm in was starting to get smaller. the air was getting thiner by the second. i cannot breathe. my lungs were about to collapse, i was thirsty for air. "what is this?" i said to myself. i cannot fathom the situation that i got myself into. trapped with nowhere to go. "wake up, wake up, please wake up" i said to myself repeatedly but i didn't wake up. i cannot wake up.

the noise was getting louder and my mind kept telling me to bang every wall but my body didn't respond. i just sat there, with hands covering my ears to lessen the eerie sound the walls created as they were about to spat me. then silence came. i opened my eyes and i realized i wasn't in the room anymore. the walls no longer moved and i gave out a huge sigh of relief knowing i wasn't going to die soon.

i saw a light by the distance. as i started walking to follow the light, the light moved farther and farther. it was shining like a diamond and i can't take my eyes off of it. it was drawing me in; like an addiction. it was hard to deny that i was attracted to this beautiful shimmering light but sadness overflowed through me when i realized i could never reach it. tired of walking, i sat down, contemplated on my surroundings and came to notice that there's nothing around. i was in a place where everything is covered with white paint. no furniture, no trees, no sky. nothing. i looked at the light and saw that it was just standing there, glowing, waiting for me to chase it.

i kept walking and walking and finally i saw a door. i opened it and peeked inside. i saw someone looking out the window. not wanting to disturb the person, i decided to close the door. "wait" he said. i opened the door again, curious of what this person wants to tell me. "pursue it" he told me. confused, i asked in reply, "what exactly?" then he no longer said another word and then he closed the door.

the light never left. it was still there, shimmering like a gem. and i, still addicted to its glow, wants it so badly. i kept thinking of what the man has said to me. "pursue it" he said. but still clueless, i was having a hard time figuring out what he told me. its like a riddle only with lesser words.

i heard a singing voice. it was so beautiful that it was hard not to cry. it was the voice of a girl. and i can tell just by listening to it that she's in deep sorrow. wanting to know who she was, the light started to glow brighter and brighter. i was so smitten by the light that i forgot about the singing girl. i kept on walking until finally, the light stopped moving. i ran towards it, wanting to devour every piece of it. as i was coming close, i sense a lot of emptiness in my heart. it was so hollow i had to get a hold of it. i clutched my heart, as if i was in deep pain. i curled down, breathing hard and closing my eyes. the light was sucking every piece of me. breathing was hard again and i was gasping for air. i heard a faint sound. like a scream. "was it the singing girl screaming?" i thought to myself. i wanted to comfort her, tell her i'm here, regardless of the fact that we're both strangers to each other. but still,  it was selfish of me to disdain her. i could never forgive myself. "what could've happened to her? was she in the same state as i am?" that i will never know.

after a few hours or so, i saw no more light. i wasn't in the white place anymore. i looked up and saw a guy carrying me. we were walking. he saw me then he flashed me a smile. i can hear his heart beating. it sounded beautiful -- like a beating drum. his arms were hard like a rock and his body temperature was so warm that i can feel his heat on my face. on what it seems like a beautiful sight, it wasn't. storm came in and we hid on an abandoned warehouse. he tucked me in his arms. without even knowing the man, not even his name, i can sense his aura -- so beautiful and heartwarming. he was someone i could trust.

i woke up alone. i kept looking for the man but he was out of sight. saddened by his disappearance, i stayed there for a couple more days, thinking on what has happened. bizarre as the situations were, i could feel that there was a purpose of my journey. "pursue it" the man said to me. i kept saying it in my mind until i realized that in order for me to make it to the destination, i need to take risks, be brave and just pursue everything that feels right. i know that this is the answer to his riddle. i have yet to reach my destination and challenges are ahead of me, testing me, waiting for me to fail.

TTFN.