//Forever Imperfect
Fly, Butterfly

Thursday, December 22, 2016 @ 8:16 PM | 0 Comment [s]

"It's better to die fighting for freedom
than to live life in chains."
x

There are times in your life where you say to yourself, "oh fuck it. fuck this shit." There are times when you are dead tired that all you wanna do is sleep all day and not give a rat's ass on people. There are days where you wanna throw a fit, break dishes, get drunk, or high - whatever. These are the days where you just wanna leave. Leave everything behind, every person, and live the life you've always dreamed of having. These are also the days where you want to just cry yourself to sleep until no more tears come out, cry until the world is ending, cry until you're okay and you get yourself out of bed, bottle those emotions up, and face the the world with a much stiffer upper lip. 

 I am tired. Yes, I've been saying that for a long time but hell, I'm tired. I'm tired of this shit ass life, tired of bearing someone else's responsibilities, tired of being scared. I am tired of not living my dream because some people are inconsiderate enough to pass their burdens on to me. Let me, just for once be the person who I always aspire to be. Let me spread my wings, let me learn from my mistake - not someone else's. Let me have a life of my own. A life where I have to deal with my own consequences, my regrets, my passion, my love for all things beautiful. Let. Me. Live.

 I feel like I've been gasping for air for God knows how long. It's so suffocating here that somehow might cause me anxiety. I've been wanting to run away for so long. But why didn't I, though? I should've run a long time ago. I'm all out of tears, all out of strength. I've been coursing through this life like it's on autopilot. I let people control me, I let my emotions control me. I was so scared of change but now I'm craving for it. I'm craving for a new life, a new me, a new place to explore and get lost to. I just want out.

 Now I'm not waiting on shit. Next year I'm going to make shit happen. No more doubts, no more cowardice, no more holding myself back. Next year I'm going to fly, just you wait and see.


TTFN.


PS: Thanks for still viewing this blog even though I rarely update it now. Sorry for the constant whining. I have no one else to talk to. :( 


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